“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”
- John Milton, from Paradise Lost
- John Milton, from Paradise Lost
Prelude
There are fears that will never let go of you. You may try to fight them, to overcome them, but they have been engraved into the very core of your soul and become part of you, cursing you forever like the mark of Cain. You may try to put on a mask and ignore them, forget the dread and anxiousness that contaminate your subconscious, but they will never let you free them, they will instead rebel against you every time, and carve themselves into your mind with the ferocity of a parasite. It is you and them forever, like eternal lovers swimming in the fires of Hell.
Sometimes, these fears make love to you while you sleep; they conquer your thoughts, take control over your mind, invade your dreams, and expose themselves to you, raw and naked, begging you to accept them, to stop rejecting them. They are also you, after all. Don’t you love yourself? Why, then, should they be devoid of your attention?
They become the nightmares you dread to experience before you go to sleep; the ones you may pray to the god of your preferred faith to repel from your slumber; the ones where you lose control of yourself, and you become paralyzed, so you can’t wake up, not for the love of anything sacred, and you feel like you’re about to die, because Fear is King and Ruler of your soul now, you don’t dictate what you feel anymore, you are merely at the mercy of your own subconscious, so you give in, accept whatever terrible fate awaits you next, only to discover that, in reality, you are safe in your bed, which is drenched in sweat, and you are hyperventilating, still figuring out if you’re still dreaming or not, and your heart wants to burst out of your chest like a rocket, and everything is just fine... Nothing to worry about… Just another silly dream...
Some may find this experience more familiar than others; some may never experience it at all. But sometimes they are capable of shaping your life, controlling it, influencing every decision you make, unless you find the strength to endure the pain of severing the Fear from your Self. Yet some are not so lucky to find escape from the prison of their chastised minds; some find themselves forever running away from it and never getting any farther than they are. A long, torturous race to get to a hypothetical end. No stopping to look at the view. A warning burning in their minds: Fear is following every step of the way, as part of you as your own shadow, and just as detachable, and just as forgiving.
Sometimes, these fears make love to you while you sleep; they conquer your thoughts, take control over your mind, invade your dreams, and expose themselves to you, raw and naked, begging you to accept them, to stop rejecting them. They are also you, after all. Don’t you love yourself? Why, then, should they be devoid of your attention?
They become the nightmares you dread to experience before you go to sleep; the ones you may pray to the god of your preferred faith to repel from your slumber; the ones where you lose control of yourself, and you become paralyzed, so you can’t wake up, not for the love of anything sacred, and you feel like you’re about to die, because Fear is King and Ruler of your soul now, you don’t dictate what you feel anymore, you are merely at the mercy of your own subconscious, so you give in, accept whatever terrible fate awaits you next, only to discover that, in reality, you are safe in your bed, which is drenched in sweat, and you are hyperventilating, still figuring out if you’re still dreaming or not, and your heart wants to burst out of your chest like a rocket, and everything is just fine... Nothing to worry about… Just another silly dream...
Some may find this experience more familiar than others; some may never experience it at all. But sometimes they are capable of shaping your life, controlling it, influencing every decision you make, unless you find the strength to endure the pain of severing the Fear from your Self. Yet some are not so lucky to find escape from the prison of their chastised minds; some find themselves forever running away from it and never getting any farther than they are. A long, torturous race to get to a hypothetical end. No stopping to look at the view. A warning burning in their minds: Fear is following every step of the way, as part of you as your own shadow, and just as detachable, and just as forgiving.